so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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