it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
there is glitter all over my balls
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
