Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
