whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
