I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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