I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
