you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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