genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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