out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You dont lie about slip and slides
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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