god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
