Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
