How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
