areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
