There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it's like iHOP with fire
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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