people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
