the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
send nudes
from the living room?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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