it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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