She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
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why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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