the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize