I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
