ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
