Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
