Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize