First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
