if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
