I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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