he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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