you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
