FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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