So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
