All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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