i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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