just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
