Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
