ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
