Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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