Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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