i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Im part way to drunk.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
