this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
