I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
