I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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