Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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