but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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