I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
