is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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