we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my shit smells like andre
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
