so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
