How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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