mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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