What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
