I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
