Umm I'm too high to move.
it hurts more in the daytime
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
