Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was born a porn star she said
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
