she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
