When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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