is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
