At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think we might need a safe word for this...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
