Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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