eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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