you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize