So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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