marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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