I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
