LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Randomize
